Leadership is…????
Dr. Bill Donahue
Rukes Alliance Partner
Founder & President
LeaderSync Group
Q: What one word would you choose to end the statement?
A group of regional leaders meets monthly at a local restaurant. It has a similar vibe each time: new members connecting, friends getting reacquainted, familiar organizations, leaders having light as well as strategic side conversations, food enjoyed, laughter, handshakes and the requisite exchange of business cards and emails.
I have studied the group each time for a few minutes, allowing my ears to filter through the din of clanging plates and silverware, blended in with half a dozen unrelated conversations. I have noticed something. In one sense it was normal and expected. But in another, it was profound. You might say it was…everything.
As I watched, I observed that this was not really about networking or scouting or schmoozing – it was simply about relating. We did not have to put “relationships” on the agenda. They simply showed up. The true leader – the real leader – is relational because that is our identity, who we are at the core as we show up.
Leadership is…Relationship.
Granted, we do not always navigate smoothly across the sometimes choppy waters of relationships. There is always the potential for turbulent seas and rolling waves to keep us from reclining calmly in our favorite relational deck chair.
But make no mistake. We leaders have a treasure within us, something we must steward with care and embrace with resolve. We are blessed with relational capacity that has the potential – on its own, with no agenda – to shape and reshape the world, one life at a time.
I doubt at this gathering that anyone made a new referral for business, or shared one fresh, game-changing insight, or offered one strategic management tip. If that occurred, it seemed to be a stealth operation. It was a natural extension of the conversation, so no one noticed and no one felt left out of the deal.
Perhaps some business deal will emerge for someone. But not because we exchanged cards, shook hands, or clicked websites. Something far greater is really at work – something deeper, permanent, and truly good. Something defined by friendship, loyalty, trust, and love (yes, love) for one another that was fostered and celebrated.
At the meeting, we trafficked in a raw, “relationships-at-the-core” kind of leadership, the kind with no demands, no controlling interests, no need to impress one another.
Perhaps this is why I love doing so much work with groups and teams, helping leaders establish a real sense of community, whether between individuals or throughout organizations. It is because I am privileged to serve leaders who, at the center of all they are and do, are “relaters.”
Here’s a thought. Perhaps this is what we need in more organizations and in our government: a Chief Relationship Officer or Relater in Chief (RIO).
On second thought…No way! That would ruin the whole purpose. Pretty soon there would be Relating Committees and Relater Regulators and bonuses tied to Relater Interactions per quarter, or some such nonsense.
Yup. I think I like it the way it is. Better yet, I know I like it the way it is.
Because I was reminded again at these meetings how so much of leadership is relationship. Not “about” relationships, not “using” relationships, not “building” relationships. All those actions are essential and productive to any leadership endeavor. But it was so much more. It was so relational, so communal, so vibrant.
It just was.
It just is.
Yes. Leadership is relationship.
